Lover come over

So this is an uncharacteristically somber post. I don't like being negative or in a funk but that is the state of mind I'm in at the moment and I will explain why. I recently asked God to open my eyes about some of the things that I needed to work on. Oh my, I should really be careful what I ask him for. I won't go into detail about what he specifically said but my response to his answer was OUCH! Hearing the truth stings at times. Like hitting a ball with a metal bat, in the middle of winter, the wrong way kind of stinging. (That sentence just made my fingers tingle a bit how about yours?) I have one habit in particular that gets me in trouble faster than anything else...I am hyper critical and condemning when it comes to myself. I constantly go over things that I've said or songs that I've performed and nit-pick them until I'm convinced that I just generally suck as a human being. I know, it's ridiculous. I don't suck as a human being. I promise I know that however, that doesn't stop me from believing it at times. God is really trying to build up my self-worth at the moment and my intent is to let him. I just need to let him be the lover of my soul. I am very familiar with the "Father" God concept but the whole "Lover" thing is eluding me at the moment. I only understand that word in the human sphere. A very broken and incomplete understanding at that. So applying that word to the spiritual part of my life is hard but I'm trying. That is what I am working towards. To feel loved.

I've still got it!!!

So I have lost an additional three pounds in the past three days. Woohoo!!! That is a whopping big deal for me you guys. I have been absolutely stressed and unable to work out as much as I would like however I have switched my diet up a bit and it has been helping me lose in the absence of daily exercise. Nothing drastic just a little more strict non-sugar action and plenty of veggies. OH! I almost forgot... "Laughing Cow Cheese" is the greatest dairy product ever! If you haven't tried it please do. It is saving my tuchas right now. Literally. You can spread that stuff on anything and its really low in fat! My favorite snack currently is laughing cow cheese on a piece of 12-grain toast with some tomato and a dash of salt and pepper. YUMMY!!! Ok then...Back to what I was originally posting about. I have been getting some much appreciated attention from the gentlemen lately. This is shocking to me. I mean I know I'm not unattractive but it's hard to catch a compliment running from one school to another while eating a late lunch and trying to memorize the proper conjugations for irregular spanish verbs. Wow...I live that every day and yet it still makes me tired to read it! You get what I'm trying to say. I am busy. Queen bee busy to be exact. So it's a lovely change of pace when someone tells you that you look nice that day. Or that they can tell that you have lost some weight. It stops the world from spinning for just a moment to let you know that the hard work you're putting in on yourself is paying off. So thank you to the lovely gentlemen in my life that have done that lately. It's far more appreciated than you know!